Miscellaneous Monday musings about motive

Since I put in 6 miles yesterday, today was the wonderful OFF DAY! Divine! I slept in a bit and that was nice.

I think a lot these days about why I'm doing this marathon thing. Because it's totally crazy. It's so beyond my comfort zone and my ability levels. I guess there are lots of reasons I'm doing this. Some are not easy to even express in words. And maybe I don't even understand all of it. I have never done this for the desire to be a runner. I want to do something to honor my dad - to remember him. I want to create more awareness for leukemia and other blood cancers. I want to raise money to go toward research to find a cure. (I hope you'll consider helping me meet my fundraising goal!)

These pictures were taken October 5, 2006 at the Leukemia Society's Light the Night Walk. Daddy had just found out a few days before, that he would be able to be there that night and walk with his team, Holcomb's Heroes. And, that he would also be able to go with us the next week for our weeklong family beach vacation. If you will notice my red squinty eyes, I had just finished having a total crying meltdown a few minutes before this picture was made. (Imagine, me crying....). I remember feeling so completely overwhelmed and so thankful - almost beyond words - that Daddy was there and that he was surrounded by a huge group of people who loved him and were celebrating him that very night. It was a night full of prayers answered. I will never forget that night. I can't tell you how special it was.


As a leukemia survivor, he carried a white balloon that night and the rest of us, as supporters, carried red balloons. I took this picture at the end of the walk. After he had just walked a mile and crossed the finish line (another victory for him!). He had just released his white balloon to the sky. I've probably looked at this picture a million times since that night. I just wonder what he was thinking. I love this picture.

I talked with a friend at work the other day who also lost her dad several months ago to Leukemia. We were talking about the commitment that this training requires and the time that it takes. And she kind of laughed and said "Like our dads had time to be sick..." How true is that. I've thought about that too. The time, the inconvience, the shin pain - all those things just pale in comparison to what my dad went through while he was fighting AML. So perhaps that is another way to put all of that in perspective for me. And while my dad completed this battle, there are still millions who are fighting it right now. Or who have not even begun to fight it. It's all just awful and I hate it.

So maybe all these rambling thoughts help explain why I'm doing this. This whole marathon training thing isn't about me.....it's really about my dad. Because what I'm doing isn't nearly as hard as what he did.